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As a teenager, I was two things: a huge nerd and a “guitarist”. I say “guitarist” like that because I was lazy and laziness is not something you want from a good guitarist. But I was decent and, when I wasn’t busy being decent, I was neck-deep in my own nerd-dom.
Which makes this official collaboration between Game of Thrones creators, Benioff and Weis, and Fender guitars. Tom Morello from my favorite band ever, Rage Against The Machine, Scott Ian from Anthrax, and, not to alienate any of my readers, but some dude named Nuno from Extreme(?) perform the theme from the show on Game of Thrones guitars modeled after the three main houses from the show.
Jesus. The world has been rewritten for the nerds, and we live in that now. When I was a teenager, all I wanted was my very own Fender Strat to play dumb Nirvana covers on. Now, they make them out of images from my own brain.
As the video goes into, each guitar is styled according to a specific house from the books/show. The show creators teamed up with guitar designers from Fender and lovingly finished each guitar to look like some alternate dimension ax from a universe where Westeros is really into shredding. The guitars include:
A Lannister Jaguar
Decked out in gleaming gold plating and delicious red decor, this guitar is too gorgeous for this world. Gold plated inlays bring lions to life on the fretboard, with a whammy bar dangling from its impressive polished hardware.
The Lannister Jaguar pays its debts. And what it owes you is two hands full of the sexiest guitar you’ll ever hold. Only you won’t get to hold it because this guitar is too good for you.
A Stark Telecaster
As the video reminds us, the Telecaster is a down-to-earth ax that brings a lot of utilitarian style to a guitar load out. Remind you of anyone? No? Damn, I was going for House Stark. This is the House Stark guitar, and it is rugged as balls.
A gigantic burnished wolf’s head scratch plate sits on a worn wood body with custom tone and volume controls. You can actually hear the sound of hard Northern bastards throwing this guitar at each other across crowded rooms full of fistfights.
A Targaryen Stratocaster
The last entry on this list was in the hands of Scott Ian for the demo, and is possibly the coolest instrument tie-in ever created. A Targaryen-themed Stratocaster with a dragon scale carved body and worked leather scratch plate, this guitar looks regal (not Rhaegal, although also that, a little bit).
With its whammy bar for dragon swooping and its actual dragon scales for dragon everything else-ing, this limited edition ax is hot.
Is it my favorite of the Game of Thrones guitars? No – that prize would have to go to the Stark Tele. Something about that gigantic wolf and the stone-washed color of the body just scream “Collect me and put me behind glass and never put your greasy fingers on my fretboard, you oily-fingered monster!”
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